Those who think Republicans only care about what’s good for business take note: a combined XM/Sirius company is worth 33 percent less today than when the merger was first proposed in February 2007. That translates into $3.68 BILLION less. That’s hardly a pro-business position.
Oh, I almost forgot. The NAB has been lobbying up a storm against this deal. OK, maybe they do care about business — but not necessarily the satellite radio business. Could it be the intensive lobbying and political donations which has lead to 17 months of foot-dragging?
Conspiracy theories are as cheap in Washington as gasoline used to be before the Bush administration took office. It’s preposterous to think that politics could be a factor. How can we say that for sure? Roberto Gonzalez told us. And he’s the Attorney General. I mean he was the Attorney General. What happened to him again?
To further support this point, our secret sources have discovered Chairman Martin’s personal notes and his To Do list regarding the merger. Which helps explain why it has taken 17 months to approve this delicate deal.
- Feb 2007: We shouldn’t make any quick decisions until we see Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction for Winter. It couldn’t kill us to wait six weeks.
- June 2007: Too tired to decide anything after spending all night standing in line for the new iPhone. (This thing is SO Cool!)
- August 2007: Back To School sale at Staples is better than ever. It really is the Best Time of The Year!
- October 2007: People are beginning to think I am dragging my feet. Note to self: my soles are siriusly worn out and need replacing.
- December 2007: This year’s “a la carte” holiday party took alot out of me. Best to wait until next year.
- February 2008: Celebrated one year anniversary of not doing anything by taking the day off.
- March 2008: DOJ says yes to the merger. Bastards. Now we are going to have to do something! But not until after I win the March Madness pool at the office.
- April 2008: Spring is here! OK, I really need to get going on this. Really. Honest. Siriusly, I’ve got to do something. But first, anyone want to go out for an a la carte lunch?
- May 2008: Attend a public reading of the 17th NAB press release/white paper opposing the merger since February 2007. Rumor is that this one is a real page-turner!
- June 2008: Time to act! But not until the full commission votes. They should take us through November, at least.
- July 2008: Another new iPhone? Awesome! Too bad these things can’t carry satellite radio. That would be so rad!